long island city, queens: tank full, yimby empty

A Cookie for Samir

February 10, 2023

Elon’s loss is Ben Carlos’s gain.

After former Twitter senior software engineer Samir Lavingia was cruelly and inhumanely fired from the birb app, he quickly and quite conveniently landed the role of “campaign coordinator” at real estate lobbying group Open New York where he has been a “longtime member.”

Cronyism much?

I had predicted last month that Samir would get a new job by Valentine’s Day: how convenient that this new stint is at his own mothership (broship?) and was announced a week ahead of my foretold schedule.

Because that yimby bubble be small and tight, bro.

Yimbys only hang with each other.

Yimbys only speak to each other.

It would make sense that the lone yimby group in New York City would hire one of its own.

Samir had just been traveling in India for a few weeks in January, something every unemployed New Yorker does during their job search.

And, of course, before his globetrotting, Samir suffered deeply in his very own kitchen, painfully spooning some “sixty plus cookies,” for bros to munch on during the harrowing Open New York BakeThrough Rally last month.

Such a spirit reflects a desire to socialize with besties over cookies rather than rallying desperately to keep humans housed, as exhibited over and over, time and again, by the many opponents of Open New York.

Yimbys, instead, are only looking for a “party.”

After Open New York’s rally, Samir accused me of “racism” when I stated he would likely be hired again in no time because he presents so professionally. Turns out I wasn’t wrong.

upzoned Tupperware🥺😭

His bro struggle was so real, Samir ended up with a lot of leftovers.

Like yimbyism in NYC, the majority of his rally cookies remained untouched and unpopular.

Update (“😤🍼😫”):

your own pink Tupperware doesn’t lie, Samir but congrats on your new high paying job!

One response to “A Cookie for Samir”

  1. As seen on Twitter Avatar
    As seen on Twitter

    I hear that Sara Lind was disappointed that Samir didn’t bring gluten free cookies for her.

    Liked by 1 person

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