long island city, queens: tank full, yimby empty

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Baby Bottle Emoji😤🍼😩

April 7, 2022

They do all look alike and dang, is that baby bottle emoji their kryptonite.

yimby = “all look the same”
“haaallllpp me think of moar nonwhite men. because I can’t think of anyone else. (which is loudly saying the loud part out loud, again really loudly🥺😭)”
why do they *all* look like this?

all of them, always: why?
“no, you’re wrong because ackshually…”
“omg we don’t ‘all look alike,” just no stawp. jeebus: some of us are ~*old*~ and some of us ~*wear glasses*~; we’re a very diverse group”
“sometimes we wear hats!!!!!😤🍼😫”

These tweets of mine are from almost a full year ago: notice how the first three are emoji-free, that’s how old they are. And why yes indeedie: ~*all*~ yimbys do ~*look*~ ~*alike*~
“we’re such a diverse group of pasty white guys that one of us is even a llama, okay?!?? gawwwdd!!!”
“one of us has a sister!!!!!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
“listen, we are ~*not*~ all white guys, we’re not, okay?!?!?!?! like, literally not, seriously: it just ~*looks*~ like we, so stawp saying we are because we are so not 😤🍼😫”
“suhppppppleye ahnd duhmahnnnddd!!!!! gawwdd!!!!😤🍼😫”
We already know all these faces, amirite? The Great White Male quilt
“seriously? do you even know how to read??!!??!?!?!😤🍼😫”
“sometimes we laugh, sometimes we sigh with joy at life’s little pleasures, like biking!!!!! ayyyyynd sometimes we take ironic selfies and really like how they turn out!!!!”
“we are incredibly diverse!!!!😤 like, a bunch of us have beards!!!!!!🍼 some of those beards are close shaven, ok, and some of the beards are quite long: because representation matterz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😫”
“in fact, some of us are very expressive with our incredible diverse ~*hair*~, ha! it’s like a thing, a follicle spicy take, if you will🥺😭”
Some are old, some are young, some wear hats, some have facial hair: and yet they are all the same
“it’s like we’re all from the same family, like we’re siblings or like first cousins or i dunno something like that, i dunno, i’m just spitballing here”

Quick aside: the guy in the large photo has described his inclusion in this ensemble as an “attack” by me. He thinks it’s an “attack” for me to have made note of how similar all these redheaded bearded bespectacled young white guys look. Wonder what he thinks of Ukraine, you know, like in comparison to his own horrifying experience of having surviving being “attacked.”

There is a reason why I use the baby bottle emoji, Chris Aho: thanks for demonstrating that😃😀😄

“but we are like very individual, you know, we’re unique, sure we’re *all* white and yeah ok we’re like *all* male, sure ok, but we’re like a rainbow, work with me, follow my thought: we’re a gradation of greatness, an ever-changing cascade of caucasianness, a field of dreams”
“if we were a pasta, we’d be fettuccine alfredo😤🍼😫”
“or like maybe a nice sauceless white pizza: and ‘white’ means ‘cheese only,’ ok, you presumptive racist!!!!!😤🍼😫”
“We are family, I got all my fettuccine with me, hey hey, we are family, get up everybody and sing”
“k but can i please speak to the manager, though? i mean, i don’t have a ~*real*~ problem per se, i’d just like to, you know, speak to someone in charge🥺😭”

The center guy here called me “abusive“ in the comments for my post about Mark Mollineaux.

“You blocked me!!!!!!😤 On Twitter!!!!!!!!!🍼 That’s, like, ~*literally*~ abuse!!!!!😫”
“u mad bro? calm down chill it’s not that serious, lmao😤🍼😫”
“lmao what? 😤🍼😫”
“variation of eyeglasses frame club: from soft gentle rectangles and crisp classic circulars to thoughtful square hybrids, we span the gamut, so like again, do not tell us that we are not ~*diverse*~: we are as unique as our eyewear, ok?!?!?!?!? gaawwwddd😤🍼😫”
(I mean)
“hey! sup!!!! ha!😃😀😄”
(yinse and yimpeat😤🍼😫”)
Stunning and brave mayonnaise
“ackshually, new construction is extremely green!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
“historical parking lot!!!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
“ban cars but not amazon deliveries!!!!!!! or uber!!!!!!! or like lyft, too!!!!!!! but ban cars!!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
(Legit cannot tell them apart)
“evan mast wrote this white paper in 2012: it’s the only research i have, ok, but it’s really really good!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
“community gardens belong on top of private residential buildings, not on the earthly ground and in soil, you stupid boomer: no one cares about shadows but you, lmfao😤🍼😫!!!!!!!”
(oh snap look who it is🙊)

“if you ~*really*~ ~*cared*~ about new york city, you’d turn it into tokyo, you redundant battle axe!!!!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”

(and that top right image is Ben Carlos Thypin, Dan Fisher: can’t miss him)
bowl after bowl of vanilla ice cream🥺😭
White tech bros wearing this many hats can only mean only one thing: massive, massive diversity

https://twitter.com/yhdistyminen/status/1440396904152526856?s=20&t=NblqAPRyubfeF3rFnylciw (pwivate tweet😭🥺)

“omg I swear!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
There is always moar💁‍♀️
Encore du endless white guys🥺😭
All of them, always
“She can tell we’re all white, like wtf!!!!!😤🍼😤”
“lots of early 30s white guys who work in tech”
“upzone muh young hairline!!!!!!😤🍼😤”
“just took the screenshots”

coz this stuff writes itself👋


“Like, we don’t all ~*look*~ ~*alike*~, like, I really don’t understand what on earth is going on here🥺😭”
(ooops who’s gonna tell yim?🙊)

https://twitter.com/tashcoug/status/1520831580159180800?s=20&t=uuLr_s_a4PNnNyRh0TiOHw (deweted becwause of “work”😭🥺)

(cashboob sporadically downzones her Twitter account into private locked mode🥺😭)

“You’re referring to me as a baby with an emoji. That’s, like, an insult!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
My bad, Jeff, because nothing says “triumph” quite like an emoji blowing smoke out of its nostrils in full spaz meltdown: how manly, powerful and magnificent

(so subtle you gotta bring your microscope, four eyes 🥺😭)
Someone haaaallllllppppp SpiderBland now!!!!🥺😭
Expedition White Males
“everybody!!!!! ratio!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
(yinse yand yepeat yedux)
“The white boy corner😤🍼😫”

(who’s gonna tell yim?)
It’s a mirror, Armand: to you, at least

“Never forget that observant excluding racist!!!😤🍼😫”
“(but only the white men smh!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫)”
“Don’t say her f*ll n*me, like, ever, okayyyy??? gawwddd!!!!😤🍼😫”
“Don’t say her name: she’s like Candyman and she’s gonna, like, kill us!!!!!!!!😤🍼😫”
Why do they *all* look like this?

All of them, always: why?
(oh look, a block-happy yimby who works at Twitter: huh)
I can🙋‍♀️
oh snap here come the wencils😱
“Ha! Hey!! Amirite or what?! Ha!”
everyone feels this way👋
Microscopic penis😤 and🍼 two dozen alt accounts😫, let’s gooooooooo!!!!
“gas😤 old🍼 woman😫”
yimbys so white, so male and so obnoxious

I’m not dead, bois: neither is my thread.


3 responses to “The Brotherhood of the Traveling Baby Bottle Emoji😤🍼😩”

  1. You forgot the women enabling them. Eliza Orlins is quick to tag Aaron Carr in support of outdoor dining and removal of parking spaces. But when a volunteer for her DA campaign was brought to her campaign because they were traumatized by police (despite having no arrest/criminal history) and wanted concerns about abusive/unfair police behavior heard, they got radio silence from her. Makes me wonder if progressives are really pushing for reforms in good faith, in order to genuinely help people, or are they useful idiots for a group of people that ultimately want a more authoritarian, neo-feudal, illiberal society?


  2. […] harmful and gratuitous and only serves the greedy developers with tax abatements which never, ah, trickle down so to thereby offer any “filtered” benefit to any tenants. […]


  3. […] any obtuse yimby, the criticizer couldn’t conceptualize the very criticism he ended up bringing upon […]


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